Information for grieving adults

1. Seek and accept support. You need acceptance and caring throughout. If you lack support, make finding it your first goal. Start with family, friends or clergy....or call your local hospice office or counseling office. The Healing Place is here to help, call 256.383.7133 for more information.
2. Accept your grief. Time alone does not heal grief. To work through it you must accept and deal with it. Remember it is a natural healing process. Roll with its tides.
3. Find models. You may need evidence that survival and growth are possible. Look for someone who can give you this hope. Books and support groups may be good places to begin.
4. Learn about grief. Many a person who has learned about grief has declared..."I found out I am not crazy...I'm grieving." Understanding grief can make it safer and more predictable.
5. Express it. Without expression grief can leave you frozen and stoic. Find someone who can listen to your story. You may want to express your grief privately through music, art, journal writing or an activity or memorial project.
6. Accept your feelings. Grief has many feelings...some very intense. Accept them and they will help you learn about yourself and the meaning of your loss. Lock them up inside you and you will lock away parts of yourself.
7. Pace yourself. Grief takes energy. You may tire easily. A slower pace alternated with periods of diversion and mild exercise will maximize healing. So will good nutrition.
8. Involve yourself in work or meaningful activity. It can help you maintain direction, control and purpose, and occupy your mind.
9. Don't be afraid to have fun. Laughter is good medicine. Allow yourself opportunities for diversion and freshness. Children and pets are great providers of healing.
10. Hitch your wagon to a star. You've got to have hope. Faith is not the absence of fear, but the willingness to go on when fear is present. Healing will come eventually.

What to say when someone you love has experienced a loss

Do say:

• I'm sorry.
• I care.
• I'm thinking of you.
• I care.
• I love you.
• I'm here for you.
• You are important to me.
• I want to help.

Do NOT say things like:

• I know just how you feel.
• You'll be stronger because of this.
• It could have been worse, you still have one sister