Dealing With Death At School - The Healing Place provides local school bereavement programs at no cost to the school.

When sharing the news with the students, we suggest that you have a written statement with the facts so that all students get the same information. The information should be factual, honest and use correct words such as died, killed, died by suicide or murdered. All deaths should be treated in a consistent manner, whether it is the death of a football star or gang member; from cancer or suicide.

If a student or teacher has died, there should be a period of time when his or her desk or locker remains unchanged.   The visual reminder helps students with their grieving.   In general, it is a good idea to involve the students in the class around the decisions, asking them what they would like to see done with the desk, locker, etc.

It is important to call or send a letter to parents of your students to inform them of the news of a death, what was shared with the students and common grief reactions to expect.   School administrators may wish to schedule an evening meeting for parents.   This provides a forum for parents to discuss their concerns, ask questions and participate in an open discussion about the death and its effect on their children.  

The Healing Place provides local school bereavement programs at no cost to the school.

For more information on grief at school or bereavement programs, please contact The Healing Place.

How to Tell Students About a Death

• Have students sit in a circle on the floor or in chairs rather that at their desks.   This tends to provide an environment in which students may be better able to share their feelings and questions.
• Ask students if they know what happened. Ask them how they found out.   At this point allow them to share without correcting them.
• Share the information that you have about the death directly and honestly.
• Allow students to ask questions. Answer the best you can and say "I don't know" when you don't have the answers.
• Have students share memories of the deceased person.
• Talk about a memorial and ways to remember the person, such as display of pictures, cards and notes, candle-lighting ceremony, a book of letters & pictures for the family, making a donation to a favorite charity in the person's name, donating books to the library in the child's name.
• Discuss common grief reactions (and be sure to define grief) that a student might experience; such as difficulty concentrating, sudden emotional reactions or strong feelings of anger or sadness.
• Talk about OK ways to handle these reactions such as talking to a trusted adult, being physically active, taking time to be alone, listening to music, writing in a journal, reading books related to death.
• Have an art activity or something physical to do after the sharing.
• Have in place a safe room where students can go if they need some time alone, want to talk to someone or just want to be away from the class for a period of time