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| The Healing Place Support Programs For The Grieving |
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| Information on Loss and Grief |
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| Information For Parents Helping A Grieving Child |
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| The Healing Place Information |
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| Help Us Help Others |
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Information for Parents Helping a Grieving Child |
| In the case of dealing with children who have lost a loved one, family member or friend to death, it's important to remember to speak honestly and openly about death. As adults, we tend to talk around sensitive topics or use gentle terms in describing a death. But this often confuses children. A preschooler who hears "Your mother passed away" or "We lost your dad last night" may expect the deceased to return. Older children understand the concept of death, but will often have questions about what happened. Answer them truthfully. Sometimes an honest answer is simply , "I don't know." Kids learn by asking questions. Knowing the truth helps them accept the reality of the death and begin the grieving process. You don't have to give them more information than they ask for, but don't lie about the cause of death. It will only complicate matters for you and your children later when they do find out. |
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Listen to what the child has to say. |
| One of the most helpful and healing things you can do for a child is to listen to their story without judging or offering advice. Well meaning adults often try to comfort a child with phrases like "I know just how you feel." To a child, that sounds absurd. How in the world could anyone possibly know what it feels like? Even worse, sometimes adults tell kids to "get over it" or "move on." If a child tells you, "I miss my Dad who died," simply reflect back what you've heard them say so that they know that they've been heard. With open ended questions such as "What's that been like?" or "How is that?", children are more likely to share more without pressure to respond in a certain way. AS you allow children to share their experience, you are demonstrating that you are a safe person with whom they can share their thoughts and feelings about the death. |
Talk about memories and experiences |
Remembering the person who died is part of the healing process. One way to remember is simply talk about him or her. You might say, "Your Dad really liked fishing," or "Your Mom was the best pie baker I know." When you bring up the name of the person who died, you give children permission to share their feelings. It reminds them that it is okay to talk about the deceased. |
| Holidays, anniversaries and birthdays are difficult times for grievers because they stir up memories of the person who died and sharpen feelings of loss. Some children may enjoy lighting a candle or making a card for the person who died. What's important is allowing the children to remember the deceased in a way that is meaningful to them. |
Take a break from grief |
| Children grieve in cycles. Even when a death is new and parents are grieving intensely, children may be more inclined to play and divert their focus from death at times. More than adults, they need times to take a break from grief. When possible, plan fun activities for children that will allow them to let loose, laugh, play and simply be kids. |
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Information on this page, Helping children who are grieving, was taken from the guidebook series by The Dougy Center for Grieving Children including 35 Ways to Help a Grieving Child.
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The Healing Place & Hospice of the Shoals,
A Partnership of Compassion. |
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| The Healing Place Grief Support Center also offers counseling and support for people who have seriously ill family members or loved ones. Feel free to call us with any questions. |
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